Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
