I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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