normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
