Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
