glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
