what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
