i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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