wakey wakey hands off snakey
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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