What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
