He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
