Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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