Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
