My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
