I'm jealous of your bromance
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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