Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i want to swaddle you in tequila
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
