he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
