I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
