Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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