I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
