I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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