The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They have beer where we have blood.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
