I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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