It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
