Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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