i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
