You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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