Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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