I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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