Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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