it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
