toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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