So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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