Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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