mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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