Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize