Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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