I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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