i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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