Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
