The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
