I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
