So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
