we have pet lesbian snakes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
