I have demons in me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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