she kept yelling 'call me bella'
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
