I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
