Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
