making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize