Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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