I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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