At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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