You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
