oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize