Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
