Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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