Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Terrible idea I love it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
