Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
