bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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