Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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