youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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