i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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