we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think people are normalizing furries
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
