YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
